When you hit rock bottom...

...the tiniest of things can throw you over the edge.

Still trying to get a Dr's appointment. Hopefully I'll be able to see one next week.

I need to laugh, giggle, feel happy about things. Fed up of only seeing the negative and not being able to find the positive. Fed up of being so tired all the time. Absolutely fed up of hay fever!!!

Blah. I'll get better again soon, I know what I need to do. I would love to know why I get low like this. Any ideas?

I'll try to get out for a run tonight, that always makes me feel better and will get me some brownie points when I eventually get to the dr :o)

Thank you for listening.

I'm eating this chocolate pudding for the stodgy, sugary, chocolately very short term happy hit!

Oink.

It was half term last week and we spent most of it looking after Madeleine and Sullivan who both ended up very poorly with the H1N1 (swine flu) virus. They were both given the antiviral medication which has done a fantastic job of getting them well again. Poor Emilia spent most of the holiday being sent to friends houses to play...I bet she'd like Madeleine to be poorly again! She was very worried about her and kept asking if she'd have to go to hospital, it took a lot of reassurance to put her mind at rest.

Both girls were in their dance schools production this time round, Emilia had three dances - Ballet, Cowgirls dancing The Deadwood Stage from Calamity Jane, Tap - Penguins from Happy Feet and Modern - Catch a wave by The Beach Boys. Maddie had 2 dances - Ballet - We're off to see the Wizard and Tap - Penguins again. They were wonderful, I'm so proud of our girls having the confidence and stamina to perform on a professional stage in front of a full house. Well Done Girls! xxx

Jez is working hard, very busy with work and the gig club. He's training loads and is just about back to the weight and build he was at university.

Me? I'm okay. Not quite myself at the moment but on the advice of my Dr I have cut back the amount of hours I do at the Children's Centre. It's all voluntary so I can't be signed off and I feel like I am letting a lot of people down but maybe I should start pleasing myself a bit more and doing less to please others? Maybe, but I don't like it!

We went back to Hampshire this weekend. It was my brother Edward's 30th and my father-in-law's 65th. Crazy busy weekend, but fun. It was great to surprise Edd and to see Dad, Maisie, Laurie and Michelle too. Laurie was going to come back with us for a while but changed his mind :( I've made him promise to come down soon. We also got to meet my sister in law's new man, and a lovely man he is too. I think she has found someone who'll look after her.

We went round to see my dear friend Sharon for lunch on saturday. I wish her daughter would stop growing up, it's making me feel old! Such a lovely family, wish we saw more of each other.

The girls were back to school today, Maddie's class are already talking about the Christmas play - I'm so excited!

I'll leave you with a photo of Sullivan and I, taken at Mum and Barry's Wedding 18/04/08.

More photos soon, and hopefully a short video or two! Have a great week - I'm off to bed ready for a busy day tomorrow.

Christopher's Angels

A dear Knittyboard friend has been through a very traumatic time recently, I won't go in to the details here but you can visit her blog

To help her recovery, and perhaps gain some meaning from the death of her son Cbear and MaryAnnLucy from the Knittyboard have set up a collection of donations for the hospital Christopher was born at. See here for more details. If you are able to make something for the SCBU it will be more than gratefully received.

I've read this post a hundred times and can't make my words sound eloquent. I know what I want to say, but simply can't get it out.

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I'm not too great today. Sullivan slept well last night, from 8:30pm to 5am, and I managed to sleep too. I'm still catching up though, usually he wakes between 2 and 3am for a feed and then I am unable to go back to sleep so I'm needing lots of catch up rest! DH wants me to take Sullivan in to work today to show him off, I'm dreading it but need to get it over with before he's a toddler! He's 8 weeks old now.

Just made some rock cakes with Maddie, Yum!

Can you believe it is October already?

Darling Maisie cuddling a few hours old Madeleine on 25 November 2003.

This year has gone so fast, It only seems five minutes ago that I found out I am expecting baby #3! We seem to have been really busy but not achieved much although things are moving ahead now.

I haven't got much to say today, feeling very tired and low :( I seem to be able to have a busy day but then pay for it the next.

Off now as I don't want to slide into a woe is me post :P