Moving on

We said goodbye to Nanny Lin on Friday. It was a beautiful service as far as funerals go and the vicar said some very poignant words. Chris, my father in law, read Badger's parting gifts by Susan Varley which brought even more tears to my eyes. He also did another reading as well as Lin's sister and myself. Basingstoke Crematorium seats about 100, yet there were at least another 30 people standing. Lin touched a lot of people in her life and I know she will continue to do so even now.

The vicar suggested that instead of being sad for the past, it is time to look forward to the future and that is definitely how I am going to live my life. Possibly I am changing but I see myself finding the confident, independent, happy Ali I used to be rather than changing into someone different. This seems to be causing concern to some people, but I am not going to live in my shadow any more.

The year of no regrets

Losing my much loved Mother in Law has got me thinking about life in general over the past couple of days. She is missed so much but I am determined not to be brought down by this tragic event but to live my life as though each day is my last.


I'm going to write a list of all the things I would like to achieve, learn, experience and be in 2011 and that list starts here!

• Spend more time with my family
• Get my nose pierced
• Have a fairy (I think) tattoo
• Pay off our loan
• Reduce the mortgage
• Get a permanent job, hopefully at M&S
• Do more spinning, and teach myself to spin finer
• Lose 1st
• Get fit enough to run 5k in 20 minutes or less
• Reacquaint myself with my abs
• Become more organised
• See/contact my dear friends more often
• Be more adventurous
• Do more sewing
• Learn to make sushi and chocolates
• Look after my skin/eat properly/drink my water!
• Finish my training and open a La Leche League group with the support of the BBB's
• Do some climbing again
• Above all else I'm going to HAVE FUN!!!

They will be more things added to the list as the year goes on but I hope to tick them all off. Why don't you join me in making 2011 the year you live your life?

A sad day

We had sad news yesterday. My husbands mum passed away very suddenly. She was 67 and in relatively good health. My father in law came home from work yesterday and found her. It was her heart, not a heart attack but heart failure. We'll know more in a couple of weeks when the coroners report is finalised.

She is going to be missed so much, she was a very kind, caring lady who loved to love. She came and stayed with us this Christmas so that I could work and not have to pay for childcare. We had a wonderful time, Lin and Chris found a fabulous holiday home to stay in near Umberleigh where they could bring their dog Mayzee. It meant they could still have a holiday on their own as well as spending time with us. She loved her three grandchildren who loved her straight back - even when she told the girls that they had too many toys and had to give some away!

She was so excited with the digital camera we gave her for Christmas, it was a joint present from us and Jo and Andy. Chris agreed to buy a laptop which Jez helped them choose. Their broadband was only connected yesterday, she didn't even have a chance to send an email.

Linda rediscovered her love of knitting through me, making the children some sweet little things. They will be even more special now. She loved her garden and her dogs, good food and sudoku puzzles. I can't believe I was walking around town with her just 12 days ago. She was so proud of her family, couldn't stop hugging us. She always told me how much she loved my cuddles.

It's so unfair. I didn't even take any photographs of her with us over Christmas.

We miss you Nanny Linda and hope that you are happy and peaceful wherever you may be now. xxx

I'll leave you with these words that Maddie wrote yesterday evening.

I loved my nanny lots and lots, it should be a happy feeling she's with her mum and dad.

I loved her very much.