Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Just stuff

I'm not too good at the moment.

I spent most of last week at my Mum's new home in Cambridge. It is about 4 hours away in the car and I am finding it very hard to know that I can't just pop in to see her, or ask her if she wants to go for a coffee anymore. I'm very sad about it.

Had a wonderful afternoon with the Fabulous Peri (www.knitandnatter.blogspot.com ) on sunday at the Big Knit In at Brighton University. Unfortunately I was so panicky that I couldn't relax. She has such a wonderful family, Mike and J are just so lovely and Peri is the such a great gal. I really tried to relax and chat normally but found it very hard. I hope they didn't think I was being snotty with them. (mental note to self, must email Peri to say thanks!) I was delayed by an hour by silly roadworks and then had a major panic attack in the carpark that I thought I wouldn't be able to get out of the car, let alone talk to anyone. I had to leave earlier than I wanted to due to the panicky feelings coming back.

My poor girls are bearing the brunt of my low mood at the moment. If i'm not crying, I'm shouting. What sort of life is that for 2 beautiful, kind, loving girls?

OKAY.

I'm low because I stopped taking my meds. I thought I was better, I was fed up on taking tablets to help me be ME. But I guess I am still depressed and that the Citalopram was working. I'm back on it as of today and will be feeling better again soon. I hope.

6 comments:

Peatbogfaery said...

Hope you feel better ASAP "hugs"

amylovie said...

I'm sending you positive thoughts from the Lone Star State.

Amy

Ali said...

Dear Ali,

I am so glad I stopped by your blog. I miss talking to you. I still am PEEVED about the package not making it to the UK!! Your garden is GORGEOUS! Truly. Also, I have the EXACT same problem. I have been off my meds now since March. I have mostly good days but there are some bad still. It sucks not being able to be ourselves.

Your Daughters are beautiful and I think the sweater is so adorable.

Please write anytime you need to talk. Love Ali too

peri said...

Ali, as if we'd think that of you. We were all just so pleased to see you and you were lovely. I understand how you feel and I think you were very brave to come and see us when you were feeling so low. I of all people understand those feelings of panic - so there is never any need to feel awkward with me. Take care of yourself, you know where I am if you need me,
((((((hugs))))))))) xx

PURLPOWER said...

Hi Faerynuff

I've just started some new tablets for fibromyalgia. They are making me feel very very weird and I just hope they work soon. I had citalopram for a couple of years and I found it really helpful. I know it's hard to take these things just to feel 'normal' but I hope you keep going and look after yourself. Love and hugs PPxxx

Your Muvva! said...

My poor darling, I know I haven't helped by moving so far away and I am struggling with not being able to see you all....
Maisie phoned me this morning very happy as she had just received a parcel from me and a letter, it really cheered me up to hear her happy chatter.
I keep checking my email to see if Cambridge Uni have a job for me to do. Part of me wants to work and part of me wants to stay here and chill out, sewing, knitting, cooking, gardening...all the things that have been lost out of my life for so long are all coming back now, being creative is such a wonderful healing tool....keep at it honey, everytime you produce one of your amazing creations a little bit of you get stronger....That banana silk looks so pretty, it is begging to be knitted and I bet you have started already! love you xxx